And then a thought floated through my little brain. I love this lifestyle because it puts an importance back on my Hubby and I. We are forced to make our marriage a priority again after having kids and them being the focus for the past several years. When my hubby and I first got married there was none of that difficult first year stuff that I have heard from others. It was truly bliss. We loved every minutes and sailed through the first couple years. We didn't fight, we discussed... It was pretty amazing. I thought we had this marriage thing down.
Fast forward a few years, add a couple kids and we were in a completely different place in our marriage. Our focus was always on kids. Kids walking, talking, getting sick. What school do we put them in, do we do preschool? Should we have them in sports... We need to buy clothes, they need bikes... Seriously... It is truly endless. It's not that we haven't loved having kids, it just made focusing on each other that much more difficult. I don't think I was very good at it all to be honest. I became 100% focused on my kids.. And that, I am sure, contributed to the erosion of the relationship I so valued.
|ya, this looks about right... This is about where I am at with life some days...|
Now enter TTWD... If I don't focus some of my energy on what my hubby wants, thinks, says... Where do I end up? With a seriously toasted bottom. Just that alone is motivating for me consider what he thinks about what I do. But if that were the whole thing, it wouldn't work for me. I need communication. I need to feel seen. My hubby and I lead very busy lives. I home school, my hubby works very hard at 3 different jobs that he has. Two of them are seasonal.. But it still makes for a busy life. Plus our boys are in sports and we are actively involved in our church. Just writing it down, it doesn't look that busy, but just add normal life to that and we feel like we are always going.
|We can juggle it all... Right???|
Here we are, nearly a year into this lifestyle and my husband notices me. He enquires about my day and my feelings. He checks on my mental well being. He is finally verbalising what he was thinking for the last several years, but it is a conversation with me. I feel cared for, important. When spankings happen, there is always conversation after. We always get to the bottom of the feelings and how I ended up there. It might start out as a lecture, but it always ends with us feeling like we understand where each other were at in that situation or at least what our thought pattern was. How can I not love this lifestyle when it is giving me something I have missed so much from our relationship. This lifestyle is so much deeper than discipline and rules for me. It is about connection, it is about understanding my hubby and what makes him happy. Its about him being attentive to my feelings and thoughts and pursuing them when he doesn't understand them
Maybe this isn't everyones reason, but this was my pondering for the day and I felt like I found my "Why" in this situation.